The Triduum Lived

Today millions of the world's Christians will gather in their churches around the world to re-enact the Passion meal celebrated by Jesus Christ and the men and women who followed Him.  It is the beginning of the Triduum.  It was the beginning of the end of His earthly life.  He, in His wondrous mystery, gave to them and to us, His followers, a meal that we can celebrate time and time again to be near to Him and to be strengthened so that we, too, can go forth to bring His truth to the world during our age.  This is a holy time, a time of reflection of who Jesus of Nazareth was and a time to sit with Him in prayer.  

Today there were some young, college-aged Christians who were asked if they were Christian.  Upon uttering their "yes" they were shot and killed.  It is they who truly enter into the Triduum of Christ and their family members and friends who now walk the shadow of death and feel the suffocating suffering that it brings.  We need to weep for them.  We need to weep for us whose time has not come yet but is destined to come.  May our faith fill every ounce of our being so that we may be courageous enough to say "yes" in the face of the evil one who comes to take the life of God's creation.  It is this evil that played itself out in the last moment's of Christ's life.  It is this evil that does not know that through this unutterable selfish and sinful act we, as followers of Jesus Christ, have been brought together more closely in communion with the saints that have gone before, the saints that went forth today, and the Spirit of Him who calls to our spirit to stand up, take a deep breath of grace, and go forward.  He promised us that His Spirit would be here to stand with us and to not be afraid for on the other side of our last breath He waits with His arms opened wide to welcome us to His eternal  love and comfort.

Go forth our friends.  Go forth and weep no more.  You have met the challenge of this world with saintly action and we are so proud to call you brother and sister in Christ.  Pray for us.  Pray that we, too, will be able to say "yes" when called to our fullness as apostles for the Savior of the world.  

May God be just in His punishment of those who took your earthly life from you. 

Understanding Violence

In the Gospel of John we are told that "Mary of Magdala came to the tomb early in the morning while it was still dark.."  We are left to imagine what that may have been like for her.  Certainly she was grieving for her Master, her Rabi, her Friend, and leaving for the tomb alone in the darkness of morning would have given her welcomed moments to weep over her inability to make sense of what she had just witnessed.  How could so many have been so enlightened by Him and yet so fearful of Him?  Didn't others feel the calming joy that walked with Him?  Weren't their minds and thoughts brought new life with His words and explanations about God and living?  Wasn't the touch of His hand on a shoulder or a cheek so light and yet so shocking? What had He done that seemed to bring only fear and anger to them?  What was it He said that shook them so badly that they had to rid the world of Him?  How could they, His people, not only seek His murder but before this seek His humiliation? His taunting?  His torture? and then His crucifixion?  Mary stops on the path, puts her ointments down on the ground, and covers her face with her hands.  The waves of grief flood over her.  Her body trembles with its inability to grasp all that she has seen: the screaming, the ferocious anger, the jealousy, the quick movements of soldiers following orders, the dust, the wind, the pushing, the shoving, the blood, the gasping, the crying, the stillness...it is too much.  It is just too much.  There is no sense to this violence.  There is no sense to people treating one another this way.  There is no purpose in ending life.  There is nothing right about ending His.  

Mary continues walking to the tomb, slower now under the weight of sadness and knowing what she will find there, what is always found there...emptiness.  Her gesture of going and weeping is an age old one that gives movement and direction to one who is in the shadow of death.  How scary and frightening it must have been when she finally gets to His tomb only to find the stone gone.  Shocked and stunned her own anger erupts and she moves quickly inside and finds two "angels in white" sitting who question her on why she is weeping?  She was weeping because Jesus was dead.  Now, He is dead and His body gone.  She continues to weep but Mary does not shrink in fear from talking to these two ethereal beings but instead demands to know where He is so that SHE can go and get Him.  What love this woman has for Him.  How her broken heart must have rallied its strength to be willing to rush off to do what she could to get Him back.  She needed to get Him back so that she could have at least that much of Him to be close to.  

In the Gospel we are told Christ, Himself, appears and asks her "Woman, why are you weeping?  Who are you looking for?" Once again, she tells this man, this person she thought was a gardener, to tell her where Jesus has been taken so that she can "go and get him".  Jesus then says her name, "Mary".  It is in His relational address of her that she "sees" and "hears" that it is Him and spontaneously with sheer happiness she reaches out to touch Him.  What joyful confusion must have been coursing through her.  He was dead.  She saw this with her own eyes and felt her heart break at the foot of His cross.  Now, here He is in front of her speaking her name and telling her to "go and tell my brothers..."  She was to announce to them that she had seen Him and He was going to the Father.    Her grief dissipated at the sound of His voice and exultation began to flow through her very being.  She could do nothing else but what He was calling her to do so she ran, she ran as fast as her legs would take her.  Could we even imagine her lifting up the folds of her dress so that she could even run more freely, more swiftly, to do what it was He was asking of her.  Out of breath and full of renewed life she runs into the room where the others sit in grief stricken silence and she, through tears of joy, tells them Her Masters words.  

This story of Mary of Magdala and the tomb of Christ can give us a better understanding of violence within the world of human interaction.  Life without relationship to God is life without possibilities.  It is life with fear and cynicism and jealousy and addictions to power, money, and other gods.  It is life that easily integrates forms of violent activity towards other human beings, creatures, or nature.  Rationale is given and deeds done.  

Mary, through her love and belief in Jesus, shows us that life in relationship to God is right ordered.  It is earthly life that still contains suffering and grief but is open to the joy, excitement, and exultation of seeing, hearing, and responding to the voice of the risen Christ.  

This morning on TV the news showed the buses of the family members of those who perished in the Alps through the violent act of a sinful pilot.  I could see through the windows the grief stricken faces of the men and women who were being brought to the burial ground of their loved ones.  Some held their heads in their hands as the Coach slowly moved forward to meet the others in the long line of a death march.  I thought of Mary of Magdala and saw her face in the window as the bus drove by.  These people are at the foot of the cross.  This is their time of not making sense of this violent act that ended the lives of their loved ones so quickly.  They will hear the banging and the screaming and the praying and will see the scattering of mayhem.  As with Mary, they will face the challenge to "see" and "hear" the risen Christ whispering their names so that they, too, may come to feel the exultation of Easter morning.

Moving Towards the Horizon

     While in the midst of my clinical pastoral education (CPE) journey I came to know the concept of the "parallel journey".  This is the co-journey that we are all on as we interact and experience our lives in relationship to other's lives lived.  Reflecting on someone else's life can be a significant resource for reflections on our own.  We can listen to someone talk about what has happened to them and when they are finished sharing, we are given the opportunity to look at their experience through the lens of our own mind's eye.  Many times this can lead us to greater understanding of what we, ourselves, are experiencing or have experienced in the past; ultimately leading us to possible reconciliation and peace.
     Through my study of spiritual discernment and my actual directing of it over the past four years I can witness to the continuing parallel journey that I have experienced while discernment students seek out their deeper relationship with God.  I have come to "look for" what it is that the Holy Spirit is wanting to enlighten me about.  A number of months ago I found myself drawn towards writings about "Sabbath".  I was curious about this new desire that was welling up in me because the Sabbath was fairly simple in my life. It has always meant attending Mass on either Saturday afternoon or Sunday and trying not to leave too many chores to be accomplished.  This was easier said than done when both my husband and I were working full time jobs and we had little children at home.  In fact, there were times that I felt a great shame and guilt when Sunday night would come and I was hurriedly ironing the girls' school uniforms for the next day and I realized that I had hardly spent any time "with" them.  We didn't go for walks in the sunshine, play basketball in the driveway, sit in the coolness of the above ground pool together listening to the birds sing, or work side by side preparing Sunday's meals.  Instead, I was out buying the groceries, sweeping the driveway, weeding the garden, and, sometimes, angry and bitter over making "one more meal" that someone was not going to like.
So, having God turn my heart towards a deeper awareness of Sabbath was both frightening, in that I didn't think I was going to be able to accomplish what others thought I was supposed to do, and uplifting, in that I was hoping and praying for a respite for my "to do list" life that was far from enriching and affirming.  
     This morning God has blessed me with an even greater understanding of where He is taking me.  In beginning to read Norman Wirzba's, Living the Sabbath, Discovering the Rhythms of Rest and Delight, I have found a writing about the Sabbath that speaks to the every day life of western culture.  Early in his book, Wirzba, a doctor of philosophy, takes his readers directly to the heart of what he is writing about Sabbath being a time to reflect on God "in the world".  For this reflection to take place we need to slow down and Look for Him in all things.  This, then, is how we come to realize that God is in everything that He has so generously created for us to be co-stewards of.  This means we need to stop, see, listen, and know.  For me this is a bringing together of spiritual discernment and the Sabbath for it is within the virtue of spiritual discernment, the habitualizing of our taking time every day to be with God in reflection of our daily life, that we enter into the holiness of Sabbath.  This habit of reflective prayer leads us to greater and greater desire to see the world in relationship with God; like taking a walk with your very best friend who is pointing out to you all of the beautiful leaves, and trees, and birds, and flowers along the way; so much so, that when you return from your walk you are filled with the warmth of God's goodness that wells up inside of you so that all you can do is sit back and smile.  I am reminded here of a walk I took with my children and grandchildren this past fall on my daughter's wooded land.  We walked, talked, and took notice of natural things as we meandered around the bends in the river.  We were gifted at the end of our walk with the sighting of an owl perched on a limb who had probably been watching us much longer than we became aware of his/her grandeur.  It was a lovely time and we returned to her home refreshed from the cool fall air and filled with an unfolding natural experience.  
     Now, take that experience and literally bring God and His Spirit into the picture through prayers of thanksgiving and praise.  We did not do this, but I can imagine how it would deepen the experience to give honor, verbally and communally, to our Creator for giving us such a delightful opportunity to see His handiwork and exclaim to all who will listen about it.  Jesus tells us in Holy Scripture "Let those who "see" see and those who "hear" hear".  What are we to see and what are we to hear?  What if our lives are so busy and so loud that we are depriving ourselves of all the beauty that has been given to us to feed us in ways that would have us spilling over with praise and thanksgiving and we could do nothing but "care" for those people and other creations that come into contact with us?  Doesn't our acknowledgement of that alter the question from "What am I to see and hear?" to "Lord, how do I change my life so that I may see and hear?" 
     The horizon of my understanding becomes even clearer when Wirzba begins to connect the Sabbath to gardening and our western culture's production and processing of food.  I have been trying to open myself spiritually to the Holy Spirit's wisdom on dirt, water, gardening, and food that I harvest, preserve, and serve.  (In fact, I would take this opportunity to tell all of you to take the time to watch "Dirt, The Movie".  It is simple but eye opening and it has within it a wisdom that speaks of our global enlightenment.)  It is here that I began to feel the spirit within me beginning to "sing" at the connections of spiritual discernment, Sabbath, nature, gardening, and food production and felt a desire to share this with you.  
     This week my husband and I begin our spring planting in the form of starting vegetable and flower seeds in our home.  Last year we grew approx. 2,000 plants in our dining room, living room, and front porch.  I think this will be our 4th year and we, along with our girls, look forward to the smell of earth and young plants to offset the ongoing cold and snow of winter.  This year I will be reading Wirzba's book parallel to my planting.  My prayer will be that the Holy Spirit take me closer to the horizon of God's revelation of Himself within my life and all whom I come into contact with and all of His other creations that surround me.  I also pray that you, too, will open yourself up to be curious of your parallel journey to all that you are connected to and then share it with all who desire to see and hear, for I know that you will be happy and excited and filled with the joy of receiving the most wonderful of gifts from your most Beloved Creator.

Need For Awareness of Spiritual Gifts

The other evening I went to a mandatory parent meeting at my local parish.  This meeting was for parents of 10^th graders and as part of their faith formation parents are required to attend a number of meetings held throughout the school year.  I hadn’t been to one yet so I was somewhat excited to experience it. 

My husband and I joined about 30 other parents, most who had their 10^th graders with them.  We did not bring our daughter only because we were not aware that we were expected to. 

There were two college aged young adults clearly preparing to lead the gathering, one a male and the other a female.  The young man came into the center of those gathered and began talking about the meaning of the Triduum.  If he introduced himself, I missed that.  It became evident very quickly that he was giving a lecture on aspects of the Triduum.  This was not a problem for my husband and myself, that is, until he began to talk about the priesthood, the lives of a few of the saints, the virgin Mary, etc. and some of what he was stating as fact was not theologically sound belief within the Catholic Church.  My husband looked at me, the theologian, to see if I was having a problem with this.  I looked at him with surprise that we were encountering a personal apologetics speech at a gathering such as this.  I looked around the room to see if others were having difficulty with this meeting and what I saw saddened me.  Some of the parents were on their cell phones, some of the youth were yawning and rubbing their hands over their heads and faces reminding me of my overly tired homeless clients of years before.  Some were listening to this young man as he rambled on about what appeared to be the dogma of the faith and probably taking in as truth his uneducated presentation.  I thought about interrupting him but I would have had to actually stand up and call out for he was on a role.  He was not interacting with us gathered nor was he engaging anyone with eye contact.  What I realized very quickly was that 1) I was leaving, 2) I needed to write a letter of protest, and 3) my daughter would not be attending any of these meetings without us.

When we got home, my husband and I did sit down and formulate an email to the faith formation director whom we have not heard from as of yet. 

I have taught theology to a number of young adults.  I try hard to encourage their desire to look more deeply into their faith.  With that I invite them into the real life experiences and wisdom writings of the Doctors of the Church, the Fathers of the Church, the Catechism, ongoing Papal documents, and writings of faithful Christians that have stood the clarifying criticism of time and review.  Many do not want to go down that educational path.  Their opinions are formed, they have surrounded themselves with others who think in similar ways to them, and they are very busy with lives filled with informational experiences, mostly useless as social scientists are currently pointing out.  So, I do not relish this young man, who is clearly giving of his time and energy to the parish, to be embarrassed or feel put down for his efforts.  I do, however, want him to know that he could benefit from spiritual discernment, where he could determine whether or not teaching or knowledge is a spiritual gift of his, and he could take the time to pursue theological education.  All of this would invite him into a state of humility, an opportunity to pursue more theological education, and help him to grow spiritually to be a more effective evangelizer on behalf of the faith.  Until then, he clearly needs to back away from opportunities to practice juvenile apologetics before an unwitting crowd.  Now, the responsibility of the other parents to be “present” and expecting engagement on behalf of their sons or daughters is a whole other writing which I will come back to soon.

Wisdom, Teaching, Prophecy, Administration, Discerning of Spirits, Writing, Knowledge, etc. are all special graces given by the Holy Spirit to the spirit of an individual on behalf of the church to be used in the uplifting of the church or to be used in the world.  If we, as Christians, want to be as informed as we can be and we want to be treated in a way that affirms our individual and communal dignity, then we need to have an expectation out of the church that individuals with these graces be sought out.  We know, through Holy Scripture and through the ongoing Holy Tradition of the Church that individuals continue today to be called by the Spirit of God to use these graces in an active and engaging way.  It is their responsibility as daughters and sons of God.  It is their created right to be seen in their individual spiritual entirety.  It is the demand of their lives to be steadfast and to go forth with praise to God for the blessings He has showered upon them through the distribution of these graces, undeserved, and yet given as gift of grace to give truthful light, as God’s compassion and mercy, to the world.

May the Holy Spirit tug at this young man’s heart to move him into seeking out those around him who have these special graces so that they may teach him what it is that he needs to know.  Be with him on this journey.  Be curious about one another’s spirits.  Be seekers of how the Holy Spirit continues to engage the Church and the world.  Be the Body of Christ by being willing to acknowledge the existence of hands and feet and arms and legs and eyes and ears…With this we will truly go out into the world with truth upon our lips giving voice to the joy of the Gospel of God impressed upon our hearts.  Blessings…

I Am Back

I have been gone from this website since December of 2013.  There are reasons for that.  The first one is that my young daughter asked me if I would "home school" her for the second semester of her 5th grade.  She was struggling at school and was coming home escalated every day and crying before leaving in the morning.  After discerning this over the holidays and meeting with her homeroom teacher, I agreed.  I had to do research on this, pursue the proper educational channels for the state of North Dakota, and then go forward in educating myself on the "system" I wanted to use and how my husband, with his Master's level knowledge, could be used in assisting us.  We did this, all went well, and she was feeling much better by May and involved with the after school drama program at her school.  She needed this and I am grateful to God for allowing me to problem solve her request and discern the possibilities through prayer and reflection.  When the end of the school year came, I thought I would be able to get back to my writing but I was mistaken.  My brother became quickly ill and died shortly after a week of his hospitalization.  He was the last of my family of origin to pass away.  This left me with many responsibilities and, since he had no spouse or children, the pursuit of being the "personal representative" of his estate.  I have done this not only because of my feeling of responsibility but also out of my love for him.  This has taken me into the journey of distributing his belongings, securing his photography and manuscripts, the sale of his home, the paying of his bills, etc ; a journey many can relate to.  I am just now, eight months later, beginning to feel that I can take some of my time for my own writing.  So, here I am....Holy Spirit called...ready to write again.  If you are new to this site, I welcome you.  If you are not, I've missed you.  Please feel free to leave your comments and enter into a dialogue.  How else will we be able to clarify what it is that God would like us to discover about Him and His relationship with us, if we do not seek out why it is that He has brought us together.  Blessings...

It Doesn't Have To Be This Hard

How many times do we enter into moments that cause us fear because we are uncertain of how we are to act, which decision is the right one to bring about the right result, what to say when we sense that something in front of us is morally wrong, etc?  What if I were to tell you that this is NOT the Will of our God?

I have to begin the OTHER POSSIBILITY with the death of Jesus Christ.  I have to reach towards your sense of “wonder” and ask you why you think so many people worship this man who was nailed to a tree and left to die a death of thieves.  Could they all be ridiculously misinformed?  Could this two thousand year continuation of belief be the result of poor parenting skills?  Could this be an opiate, as Karl Marx said, purposely designed by man for man in order to ease anxiety of unknowing?  Or could it be True that He actually was the Son of God and He, as God, took on our human nature knowing that the world would rebel against his ministry and he would be placed in the hands of the powerful to be tortured and hung to die upon this wooden cross all because he loved us?  If for one moment I have perked up your interest to ask yourself “What kind of Love is this?”, then maybe we have a chance to discover just a little more fully why our  lives remain so hard for us today.

This Love that sacrifices so much for the spiritual life of all of our lives is Divine.  It is infinite and we cannot understand its mystery fully with the intelligence that God has created in us.  Some of the saints have been and are “graced” with a gift of “seeing” within their mind’s eye a greater understanding of what this all means.  Some have written about it so that the rest of us may gain more knowledge, grow in understanding ourselves, and through this be drawn to God for His Love and His Mercy.  These saints, these ones that God said “Will you do this?” and they answered “Yes” have been the hands and feet of Christ leaving us gifts of understanding; gifts of lives, normal as ours, given through desire to do whatever God’s Will was for their lives.  They felt compelled to seek out their authentic nature and shower the world with its refreshment.  They gave miracles for people to be astounded by.  They gave messages that when shared spoke to the souls of millions.  They, after their deaths, bring a continuation of a faith community that remains active and consoling when called upon.  They have told us, witnessed to us, and show us that life “doesn’t have to be this hard”.

We can find peace in the midst of uncertainty brought on by chaos, divorce, and loss of job.  We can find joy in the midst of living loved ones after the sorrowful death of someone we loved so very dearly.  We can look forward to the mornings and the evenings and the “aloneness” that they may bring.  We can be poor and thus be rich.  We can be rich and thus be blessed to assist the poor.  Christ told us that He came so that we may live and not only live but live abundantly. 

So, how do we take this uncertainty and this death and this chaos and this aloneness, all that makes life “hard, and discover the abundance?  We have to begin by “wanting”it.  Yes, we have to begin by intentionally desiring the “abundant” life that Christ spoke of and felt compelled to die for.  You may think this sounds too simplistic but truthfully we have a tendency to lose the desire for the joyful, loving, and peaceful life when we stand in the midst of these situations and we are drowning in our human selfishness and demand for divine consolation.  We become snared in our surprise that difficult things have occurred in our lives and turn from living that only moments ago had been occurring to confusion, and fear, and indignation, and resentment and we enter into a fog of disbelief and anxiety.  So, by clarifying for ourselves and in our prayers to God, that we want the clearness of His life for us over our present state of human suffering becomes the beginning of seeking our strength to persevere in Him.  Job became aware of this in himself.  He wanted answers as to why he was being afflicted.  He thought and thought and spoke with others and pondered God’s reasons and His relationship to men and how life should look when we are faithful and on, and on, and on.  The end of the story, though, goes something like this….God says to Job “Stand up, look me in the eye, and tell me what you know.”  Job hesitates and God says again “I said stand up and tell me what you have discovered about Me”.  When Job continues to hesitate, God tells him “Were you there when I made the heavens and the earth and the snowflakes and the mountains?  Were you there when I told the seas their boundaries and the fish where they could swim?  Have you figured out how I have power over behemoth?  How I can order him to do my will?”  As God speaks Job gains self knowledge.  He begins to understand that God is God and he doesn’t have a clue.  The best he can do in this dialogue is to face the Truth and be sorry for trying to go where he never should have gone.  He hadn’t gotten any answers and he hadn’t ended his suffering.  It was only now when God stepped in and took over the ruminating that Job was enlightened and found some peace.

Any life event, any life hurt, and decision we have to make was never meant for us to do alone.  How is that for a simple answer.  We were to find our consolation in our desire to be in relationship with God, through our active prayers that were our placing these situations upon the altar of God, through our strengthening within the Sacraments that God infused with His Grace to give us strength to endure, and with one another as a community of ones grateful for that ultimate Sacrifice of Christ and through our sights set on Him we care for the needs of each other.  If it is too hard, maybe we, like Job, are trying to find answers too hard for us to find alone.  It is God’s realm and we were never meant to rule it.  May God’s Peace enter into your hearts all of you who mourn and suffer this day.  May your mind “wonder” about all of this and your soul respond with its created desire to be in relationship with the One who loved us so much that He suffered, died, and rose  so that we could have life and have it abundantly!

FINANCIAL POVERTY

Yesterday I was reminded of the differences in definition that individuals hold on the state of “poverty”.  When I was working with the homeless, there would be complaints among clients that this or that person didn’t know what “true poverty” was.  At Christmas time there was always some staff member at some agency frustrated with the abundance of material gifts given to those in poverty while this person’s children went with so little.

During this time of high unemployment people are engaging in conversations about how one should live without during times of financial crisis.  The suggestions vary as much as the people do but the common theme seems to be that those who are in the midst of the struggle should be able to endure by just giving up some of the “excesses” that they have accumulated or integrated into the normalcy of their family lives suring the abundant times and then they will find themselves with enough.  If they do not, then surely there must be agencies “out there” who will assist them.

This reminds me so much of the scene in the movie, “Scrooge”, with George C. Scott where he questions the men seeking donations for the poor by saying “Are there no work houses?, Are there no prisons?”.  Later in the movie he comes to have his comments thrust back at him while being scolded by the spirit of Christmas “present” for not enlarging his circle of concern to those within his community and his world leaving the viewer with the truth that we are to be benefactors to all.

The Catholic prayer, The Litany of the Saints, asks for prayers for benefactors; benefactors being those around us who have assisted us when we were in need of mercy.  That brings me back to wondering how one is to be a benefactor during a season of poverty within a culture of abundance.  How do we determine what someone should give up before they are “worthy” of our assistance? 

I have read many stories over the course of the past three years about individuals and families who are struggling due to our economy.  They are struggling to maintain their lifestyle, their homes, their cars, their educational choices, etc., and many are criticized for that.  So I am left wondering what it is that possible benefactors are looking for before they are moved to pity someone’s situation.  Are they looking for what they might do if they were in that situation?  Are they looking for that person to be willing to take any type of employment no matter what it ramification it may cause?  Does the injured person or family have to live a difficult life so openly that others will notice disheveled hair or worn out clothes or loss of weight so that benefactors do not have to look for themselves at who may be in need? Does there have to be a foreclosure on a home or a loss of schooling or a selling of a needed vehicle to gain attention? What is it that someone else has the need to “show us” before we are moved with pity to look at our own lives and see our own excesses in order to help them during their times of trial?

So, what is poverty in America?  In the Midwest?  In Fargo, North Dakota?  Is it too high of an expectation that someone be out of work and they continue to maintain in their own home and have their vehicles and still receive help from others?  Should their children still receive birthday presents and surprises at Easter?  Should their freezer be half full or mostly empty?  Should they seek out the pawn shop and sell off those unnecessary items such as CD’s or DVD’s or jewelry or books to gain a few dollars so that they may provide for themselves?  Should we be expected to actually ask someone if they need help to maintain or is it reasonable to think that maintaining should exist in the eye of the benefactor?

 All of us will enter into seasons of trial.  Most of us will have seasons in our lives where that trial will include lean financial times.  God’s expectation that is revealed to us in His Word is that we are to love others as we love ourselves.  This is the job description of the benefactor.  On the emotional surface we fear being taken advantage of by someone who is not willing to make the changes in their life that we think we should have to make if it were us.  But deep beneath that superficial fear is the fear that that person could one day be us so we need more to store up our excess for our season of need instead of opening up our abundance to others.  The whole complex situation stays nicely wrapped up in the wrapping of fear and we lift our eyes a little higher or we get a little busier or we buy a few more things so that we cannot be drawn by that merciful part of ourselves to see the need exposed before us.  This subject matter begs for me to end this blog with the question “Who really is the impoverished one?  The one who rises and lays down within the struggles of the day or the one who tries so hard to insulate themselves from the awareness of the personal poverty that exists within their reach?  I think this is a subject that needs to be clarified through continued dialogue.  There is not a “one size fits all” answer.  The truth lies within our love for ourselves and what we hold dear in our own lives