“Good, Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?” A question uttered in a passionate moment from a youth to Jesus; a moment in which this young man stood perplexed while hearing the words of Christ in regards to a holy life, a life that he had tried so hard to lead. He was certain that there must be more…and more there was. “Jesus looking upon him loved him and said to him, “You lack one thing; go, sell what you have, and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.” The young man became disheartened due to his many possessions. He could not see in his heart the “possibilities”.
Are you and I expected by God to get up today, box up all of our earthly possessions, order a U-Haul and send them to Churches United for the Homeless or another distribution site for the poor? I do not know the answer to that? This young man was discerning his faith. He was seeking an answer and Christ gave him one. We, the Scripture reader, do not know if he went home and wrestled with this for the rest of his life. We know that his story has been given to us as a gift to reflect upon and ask ourselves “What does this mean for me? What is holding me back from giving my whole self to Christ?”
I have recently been handed this story as gift once again in regards to my own life. I have spent the last three years in prayer, discerning the Will of God for my life. My professional position ended and doors closed to me wherever I turned to begin again. My husband told me that it was as if God knew the professional direction I would take and He just kept gently shutting this, and this, and this, and this while working on my spirit. There have been intense rest stops assuring me that I was going in the right direction but they have been few and far enough between that my faith in His love for me was necessary or my family and I would have emotionally and financially crashed and burned. I, like this young man, saw the goodness of following God’s way of life. I was experiencing a peace within the pain, a direction within the uncertainty, and a greater awareness of His Grace and Mercy within difficult days BUT there was a part of me or satan within me that always echoed “Really? Really, Jen? Are you sure? What if???” Then, my knees found the floor and my prayer found a voice and I told Jesus what I needed…money to buy groceries….money to pay the housepayment…money to pay the medical bills…money to ease the anxiety of the what if’s. It was direct and heartfelt and within the week I had the possibility of this money in front of me, most of it coming from equity in my home that the bank was willing to lend to us. It would allow me to focus on writing my book about God’s deliverance with less anxiety but with the knowledge that if we needed to tap into this money, we were going further and further into debt. This is where the gift of this young man’s story comes in. God is asking me to trust Him; trust Him so much that I head into the future not knowing if there will be other possibilities that will come my way to minister for Him and find payment for that or use my possession, my home, to provide me with the opportunity to do His Will. It is giving up for Him the last possession that this culture says I own so that I can “go and follow Him”.
Well, here I am. I am back; back to write and write and write about God and all that He inspires me to write. I have been in relationship with God for all my life with my first “spirit(ual)” experience when I was two. It was wonderful and whenever I close my eyes and my memory brings me back to my crib and the soothing, comforting light that warmed me as I stood in a winter snowsuit because we were poor enough not to have heat I know in my very soul that the Holy Spirit was making His Presence known to me that day. May God continue in His Mercy to find me worthy.
