It Doesn't Have To Be This Hard

How many times do we enter into moments that cause us fear because we are uncertain of how we are to act, which decision is the right one to bring about the right result, what to say when we sense that something in front of us is morally wrong, etc?  What if I were to tell you that this is NOT the Will of our God?

I have to begin the OTHER POSSIBILITY with the death of Jesus Christ.  I have to reach towards your sense of “wonder” and ask you why you think so many people worship this man who was nailed to a tree and left to die a death of thieves.  Could they all be ridiculously misinformed?  Could this two thousand year continuation of belief be the result of poor parenting skills?  Could this be an opiate, as Karl Marx said, purposely designed by man for man in order to ease anxiety of unknowing?  Or could it be True that He actually was the Son of God and He, as God, took on our human nature knowing that the world would rebel against his ministry and he would be placed in the hands of the powerful to be tortured and hung to die upon this wooden cross all because he loved us?  If for one moment I have perked up your interest to ask yourself “What kind of Love is this?”, then maybe we have a chance to discover just a little more fully why our  lives remain so hard for us today.

This Love that sacrifices so much for the spiritual life of all of our lives is Divine.  It is infinite and we cannot understand its mystery fully with the intelligence that God has created in us.  Some of the saints have been and are “graced” with a gift of “seeing” within their mind’s eye a greater understanding of what this all means.  Some have written about it so that the rest of us may gain more knowledge, grow in understanding ourselves, and through this be drawn to God for His Love and His Mercy.  These saints, these ones that God said “Will you do this?” and they answered “Yes” have been the hands and feet of Christ leaving us gifts of understanding; gifts of lives, normal as ours, given through desire to do whatever God’s Will was for their lives.  They felt compelled to seek out their authentic nature and shower the world with its refreshment.  They gave miracles for people to be astounded by.  They gave messages that when shared spoke to the souls of millions.  They, after their deaths, bring a continuation of a faith community that remains active and consoling when called upon.  They have told us, witnessed to us, and show us that life “doesn’t have to be this hard”.

We can find peace in the midst of uncertainty brought on by chaos, divorce, and loss of job.  We can find joy in the midst of living loved ones after the sorrowful death of someone we loved so very dearly.  We can look forward to the mornings and the evenings and the “aloneness” that they may bring.  We can be poor and thus be rich.  We can be rich and thus be blessed to assist the poor.  Christ told us that He came so that we may live and not only live but live abundantly. 

So, how do we take this uncertainty and this death and this chaos and this aloneness, all that makes life “hard, and discover the abundance?  We have to begin by “wanting”it.  Yes, we have to begin by intentionally desiring the “abundant” life that Christ spoke of and felt compelled to die for.  You may think this sounds too simplistic but truthfully we have a tendency to lose the desire for the joyful, loving, and peaceful life when we stand in the midst of these situations and we are drowning in our human selfishness and demand for divine consolation.  We become snared in our surprise that difficult things have occurred in our lives and turn from living that only moments ago had been occurring to confusion, and fear, and indignation, and resentment and we enter into a fog of disbelief and anxiety.  So, by clarifying for ourselves and in our prayers to God, that we want the clearness of His life for us over our present state of human suffering becomes the beginning of seeking our strength to persevere in Him.  Job became aware of this in himself.  He wanted answers as to why he was being afflicted.  He thought and thought and spoke with others and pondered God’s reasons and His relationship to men and how life should look when we are faithful and on, and on, and on.  The end of the story, though, goes something like this….God says to Job “Stand up, look me in the eye, and tell me what you know.”  Job hesitates and God says again “I said stand up and tell me what you have discovered about Me”.  When Job continues to hesitate, God tells him “Were you there when I made the heavens and the earth and the snowflakes and the mountains?  Were you there when I told the seas their boundaries and the fish where they could swim?  Have you figured out how I have power over behemoth?  How I can order him to do my will?”  As God speaks Job gains self knowledge.  He begins to understand that God is God and he doesn’t have a clue.  The best he can do in this dialogue is to face the Truth and be sorry for trying to go where he never should have gone.  He hadn’t gotten any answers and he hadn’t ended his suffering.  It was only now when God stepped in and took over the ruminating that Job was enlightened and found some peace.

Any life event, any life hurt, and decision we have to make was never meant for us to do alone.  How is that for a simple answer.  We were to find our consolation in our desire to be in relationship with God, through our active prayers that were our placing these situations upon the altar of God, through our strengthening within the Sacraments that God infused with His Grace to give us strength to endure, and with one another as a community of ones grateful for that ultimate Sacrifice of Christ and through our sights set on Him we care for the needs of each other.  If it is too hard, maybe we, like Job, are trying to find answers too hard for us to find alone.  It is God’s realm and we were never meant to rule it.  May God’s Peace enter into your hearts all of you who mourn and suffer this day.  May your mind “wonder” about all of this and your soul respond with its created desire to be in relationship with the One who loved us so much that He suffered, died, and rose  so that we could have life and have it abundantly!

FINANCIAL POVERTY

Yesterday I was reminded of the differences in definition that individuals hold on the state of “poverty”.  When I was working with the homeless, there would be complaints among clients that this or that person didn’t know what “true poverty” was.  At Christmas time there was always some staff member at some agency frustrated with the abundance of material gifts given to those in poverty while this person’s children went with so little.

During this time of high unemployment people are engaging in conversations about how one should live without during times of financial crisis.  The suggestions vary as much as the people do but the common theme seems to be that those who are in the midst of the struggle should be able to endure by just giving up some of the “excesses” that they have accumulated or integrated into the normalcy of their family lives suring the abundant times and then they will find themselves with enough.  If they do not, then surely there must be agencies “out there” who will assist them.

This reminds me so much of the scene in the movie, “Scrooge”, with George C. Scott where he questions the men seeking donations for the poor by saying “Are there no work houses?, Are there no prisons?”.  Later in the movie he comes to have his comments thrust back at him while being scolded by the spirit of Christmas “present” for not enlarging his circle of concern to those within his community and his world leaving the viewer with the truth that we are to be benefactors to all.

The Catholic prayer, The Litany of the Saints, asks for prayers for benefactors; benefactors being those around us who have assisted us when we were in need of mercy.  That brings me back to wondering how one is to be a benefactor during a season of poverty within a culture of abundance.  How do we determine what someone should give up before they are “worthy” of our assistance? 

I have read many stories over the course of the past three years about individuals and families who are struggling due to our economy.  They are struggling to maintain their lifestyle, their homes, their cars, their educational choices, etc., and many are criticized for that.  So I am left wondering what it is that possible benefactors are looking for before they are moved to pity someone’s situation.  Are they looking for what they might do if they were in that situation?  Are they looking for that person to be willing to take any type of employment no matter what it ramification it may cause?  Does the injured person or family have to live a difficult life so openly that others will notice disheveled hair or worn out clothes or loss of weight so that benefactors do not have to look for themselves at who may be in need? Does there have to be a foreclosure on a home or a loss of schooling or a selling of a needed vehicle to gain attention? What is it that someone else has the need to “show us” before we are moved with pity to look at our own lives and see our own excesses in order to help them during their times of trial?

So, what is poverty in America?  In the Midwest?  In Fargo, North Dakota?  Is it too high of an expectation that someone be out of work and they continue to maintain in their own home and have their vehicles and still receive help from others?  Should their children still receive birthday presents and surprises at Easter?  Should their freezer be half full or mostly empty?  Should they seek out the pawn shop and sell off those unnecessary items such as CD’s or DVD’s or jewelry or books to gain a few dollars so that they may provide for themselves?  Should we be expected to actually ask someone if they need help to maintain or is it reasonable to think that maintaining should exist in the eye of the benefactor?

 All of us will enter into seasons of trial.  Most of us will have seasons in our lives where that trial will include lean financial times.  God’s expectation that is revealed to us in His Word is that we are to love others as we love ourselves.  This is the job description of the benefactor.  On the emotional surface we fear being taken advantage of by someone who is not willing to make the changes in their life that we think we should have to make if it were us.  But deep beneath that superficial fear is the fear that that person could one day be us so we need more to store up our excess for our season of need instead of opening up our abundance to others.  The whole complex situation stays nicely wrapped up in the wrapping of fear and we lift our eyes a little higher or we get a little busier or we buy a few more things so that we cannot be drawn by that merciful part of ourselves to see the need exposed before us.  This subject matter begs for me to end this blog with the question “Who really is the impoverished one?  The one who rises and lays down within the struggles of the day or the one who tries so hard to insulate themselves from the awareness of the personal poverty that exists within their reach?  I think this is a subject that needs to be clarified through continued dialogue.  There is not a “one size fits all” answer.  The truth lies within our love for ourselves and what we hold dear in our own lives

Addictions

In the Gospel of John we find a short story in Chapter 5 about an invalid who had been laying beside a “healing” pool of water for 38 years waiting for someone to help him into the pool.  Jesus, aware that he had been laying there for such a long time, approaches him and asks him if he wants to be healed.  The man responds to Jesus telling him how no one has come along to help him and whenever he has been able to attempt going into the water someone always went in before him.  At first glance Jesus’ question to the man must have seemed ridiculous.  Of course he wanted to be healed.  Wasn’t he laying there with all the others waiting?  In the end Jesus tells him to “Rise, take up your pallet and walk.  And at once the man was healed, and he took up his pallet and walked”. 

I have been thinking about this story lately in regards to people struggling with addictions.  Now, today, we have the story in all the media regarding Whitney Houston’s death and the speculation of some that drugs and alcohol were involved.  I have worked with many homeless and impoverished addicted men and women whose lives were like that of the man laying by the pool.  They felt themselves in need of the current way of healing (for there were no magical powers associated in the pool at Bethzatha) and they wait, as victims for the healing to come to them or the counselors and other staff to carry them to the healing of the programs.  Many have done this for 38+ years and continue today in the cycle of sobriety and relapse. 

Jesus’ dealings with this man whom He healed has been given to us for all time in Holy Scripture.  It was a poignant story with a divinely inspired message.  We all have to decide if we WANT to be healed.  If we do want this, then we have to GET UP, PICK UP OUR MAT, and WALK.  We have to respond to Jesus with the discipline of doing what He tells us to do to gain our healing.  Our culture does not put much emphasis these days on the spiritual discipline needed for sobriety.  Even the system that began with the spiritual awareness that if one gives to God what is God’s, such as the control of one’s life, then one can find peace and healing in the arms of one’s “higher power” seems to have lost faith in humanity’s ability to say “yes” to the question.  Today, the whole encounter would be seen differently.  Jesus would ask “Do you want to be healed?” and the invalid would respond “Yes, but could we take it slowly, please, for it makes me uncomfortable to think about leaving this place I have been for 38 years?  Could you maybe come back tomorrow and help me into the water and then we could do this day after day until my healing occurs?”  Jesus, of course, would oblige because he is compassionate and merciful and would want to do all that He could to help this poor man who has suffered for so long.  The man would not have to see Jesus for who He is.  He wouldn’t even have to look at Him or give a second thought to His initial question.  Being the Son of God and the savior of the world would not play into the story.  This may be a clue as to why we continue to have such a problem today.

Addicted people need to look into the eyes of Christ.  They need to see the man who is asking them within their souls if they want to be healed.  This isn’t about shame and it isn’t about judgment.  This story is about the “desire” to be authentic; the desire to be who one was created to be; the desire to experience all the joy, peace, and abundance of life that Christ told us He came to provide.  It is the desire to be well and to be willing to follow the directions that Jesus gives.  This answer, this healing will be counter cultural.  It will be radical in its nature for it has within its healing powers mystery and divinity.  Jesus’ healing of this man was a “miracle”, not a successful program.  It defied the laws of human nature and has the ability to show all who pay attention to it that there is a greater nature that can occur within this world of ours if we do what is asked of us. 

Yes, addiction is a struggle and there is suffering, confusion, disorientation, panic, and pain.  How is that different than this man? How is that different from any of the healing stories within Scripture?  How is it that we have come to view ourselves so unique in 2012 when all we have to do is open up the Bible and see ourselves within its pages?  What does this arrogance get for us?  I think it does what any other type of vice does, it allows us to stay on our mat groaning into the water, just wishing that someone would come by to save us. 

THURSDAY MORNING DISCIPLINE

This morning I placed my writing upon the altar at Mass.  One of my daughters was singing in the choir for the first time while the elder one was an altar server.  My youngest daughter had asked me last evening to come to their Thursday morning Mass but I did not want to.  Today has been the coldest day of the year so far and I really, really wanted to stay home by the warmth of the fireplace and study.  God wanted me to go and in my thoughts reminded me that I had planned on going Thursday mornings after the busyness of the holidays ended so that I could be present at worship.  I made myself go through the motions of a shower and bundling up so that I didn’t acquire frostbite on my way.  It was seconds in the car as the heater was running that I began to feel at peace.  I was disciplining myself and God was pleased. 

As I sat through the beginning prayers of Mass and saw my two girls learning to praise God through song and service  I began to think of my own service to the Church that God has called me to.  He has asked me to take a risky leap of faith and write about Him and His desire for us human beings to be in an active, ongoing, full relationship with Him that will bring us peace and tranquility, a word that seems to be used these days only when someone is dying “well”.  I have always had faith in my life and I love the Catholic traditions I have been raised in.  This does not mean that I have not sinned for I have sinned on more than one occasion and when I do sin, I usually sin with a gusto that exceeds most any other thing that I do in my life.  But I have learned as I have grown older that faith is a journey that includes all choices of a real life.  I am just grateful that in this second half of my life that I have been graced with the desire to wake with God on my lips, in my mind, and in my heart and that I lay myself down at night to God on my lips, in my mind, and in my heart.  As you can see and as I learned this morning, the need for discipline remains.

Many people think that doing service for God consists of being willing to be on the Parish Council, serving rolls and coffee on Sunday morning, saying “hello” to strangers, etc.  I have found that the service options are narrow and usually come about from a request from others instead of a conversation with God.  I think this has played a part in the difficulty I have had in understanding that writing books or articles about God and about the integration of faith in everyday living can be a service to God and to the faith community.  Soon I will begin interviewing Seniors about their faith in the hope of gathering information for a second book on the “Catholic Legacy of Faith”.  My relationship with God and the Holy Spirit has led me to this.  Sometimes I get afraid when the money is scarce but today, at Mass, I was strengthened beyond my wildest yearnings.  I saw in my mind my papers of research strewn upon the altar.  I wanted God to have them, to bless them, and to help me find a way to bless my family with them.  I felt the “rightness” of doing this for God felt the authentic desire in my heart to do His Will. 

After Mass was over I ran into a woman that I have met before.  She is a senior in our faith community and in the course of our conversation I asked her if she would be willing to be interviewed by me.  She has said “yes”.  I am to contact her when my interview questions are complete.  She then said she knew of someone else who should be interviewed and I can see how the loaves and fishes just keep multiplying.  As we were speaking my daughters both came up to me with arms about me and telling me of their love for me.  Then the younger one danced her way into the forming line and headed off to be educated for the next 6 hours.  I was left amazed at how my disciplining of myself has left me so blessed this Thursday morning. 

IDENTITY

What makes up your identity?  Yesterday on MPR I was listening to a program on underemployed people.  During the course of the conversation between the program anchor and the professionals involved it was stated that in our country, the United States, “we are what job we have”.  I stopped the cleaning I was doing and stood for a few moments letting that statement settle itself within my brain. 

I knew exactly what was being talked about because it was one of the disturbing emotional things that happened to me after I was laid off from my 10-year position working with the homeless.  I found myself questioning more and more “Who am I without a professional job?”  I had lost the relationships with my clients that I had cherished so.  I had lost the professional committees that I had been a part of and the relationships that came with those, and I had lost the conversations and challenges of days filled with schedules and justice issues and ministerial practices.  I found myself left with a quiet home, unending house chores, and a sadness that was increasing as the “thank you, no thank you” letters came in or as I waited for letters or contacts that never arrived.  I began to realize that I had bought into this systematic portrayal of identity and needed to search for the Truth.

In my search for God’s Truth, since His is the final Truth of our existence, I discovered that I had to take off the cloak of professionalism; in fact, I had to strip down to my creation in His eyes.  Scripture tells us that we are “known” before we are born and I began to wonder who it was that He had formed me to be.  My spiritual sense acknowledged to me that I had to venture that deeply to unmask what secular thinking had given me.  Just as the U.S. banking system has had to reevaluate its mission, motives, and procedures so did I.  What I discovered was the need to do some cleaning of the “stink’n think’n” that had settled on my shoulders that comes with the propaganda of selling the “need” for professionalism as the ultimate saving grace to the American people.  Whether or not we do our jobs well seems to have been developed into a commodity when originally in the dignity of my creation my professionalism is the care and respect that I show others, the care and respect I give to the “work” that I do that helps provide for my needs and the needs of my community, and the care and respect I show as steward of God’s creations.  Professional behavior just stands for educated, ethical behavior.  It says more about the attainment of knowledge that leads one to be able to maneuver through the expectations of a particular cultural system than it does about the person attaining it.

To re-discover my identity I had to take a look at my autobiography.  Where did I come from?  Who was my family?  What had impacted my life along the journey I have taken?  I needed to see that being a professional was only a part of my life.  I was also a daughter, a sister, a Christian, a friend, an aunt, a mother, a wife, a Nana, and someone who has always been drawn to knowledge.  Asking “why?” has been one of my lifelong mantras.  In doing this my life themes began to emerge and I was drawn out of the depression of having lost my identity and drawn within the wonder of where else it was that God had wanted me to journey to. 

Having to look deeper at my own identity has been a gift from God.  He has given me insight into myself and into what many other unemployed and underemployed individuals could benefit from doing.  Also, I have found myself drawn towards the depression felt by so many of our country’s senior citizens who also feel the loss of their identity as they retire and have their fill of relaxation and never ending entertainment.  Maybe the next part of my journey will be with them.  If I find employment seeking the wisdom of our beautiful elders, I will once again be a professional.  If I sit among them doing what they may need me to do but do not receive pay, I will not.  Ultimately I have chosen to be God’s daughter and look to Him for I will be able to maneuver in and out of these positions and never lose a bit of my identity.

Oh, Christmas Tree

A tree has been living in our Living Room for the past 5 weeks.  It is a beautiful fir tree that our family cut down together at a Christmas tree farm 2 hours from home.  This has become a tradition for our family and each one looks forward to it for differing reasons.

I am very grateful to our tree for bringing the smell of Northern Minnesota woods into our home.  Every day it has graced the room with its fragrance and I, in return, needed to either speak to it and thank it for its beauty or stroke its branches while sitting quietly beside it reading something having to do with the Christmas holiday season.  My husband said it was still taking in water and we could keep it longer but I felt the Christmas season had to come to an end in some way or I would be tempted to replace it with another and another and another until all the ritual passings of the new year would find a fresh fir standing tall and green within our home. 

I never used to pay this much attention to trees boughten for the holidays; it was more about where I bought them then what I bought.  I always tried to find some kind of charity with my purchase but as the years went by the pungent smell of the town boughten firs also seemed to disappear.  We would put it up and before you knew it it was time to take it down.  Somewhere in there we would enjoy the beauty of the decorations and lights but mostly it would be too little and border on too much work for that amount of time.  It stayed this way until my focus of Christmas expanded even more than it had been before.

The more I looked for God so that I could do my part in deepening our relationship the more I began to “see” and “hear” and “smell” and “taste”.  God’s outpouring of love to me has awakened all of my senses and it is through this that I have begun to appreciate the loveliness of the fir.  It has always been there.  It was me that wasn’t present.  I was always ½ a day behind what I really wanted to do or multi-tasking to the point of not enjoying things I was making preparations for.  I will remember the smell of this wonderful tree and hopefully smile as I think of God’s love for me.

We recycle our Christmas trees by making ornaments out of their branches, or by covering plants when there is a chance of a sudden frost, or by shaking the pine needles over the strawberries as a natural fertilizer.  Its life is a full one.  When it makes its way out of our living room this evening, it will be set up in the front of the house as shelter for the birds until Spring.  My daughters will make popcorn strings or seed balls to feed the animals for the next few months.  It will continue to stand tall and straight giving neighbors a reason to take a second look and wonder when we planted that tree and they never noticed it before now.

The Feast of the Epiphany

My cat, Kitty, is not allowed to be on the Dining table.  I tell her this daily as she struts on its wooden surface with slow steps as if it is a game between her and I.  Today, as I walked into the Dining Room to write this message I find her laying on the knitted centerpiece in front of the baby Jesus’ crèche watching me as I watch her.  She is comfortable laying there and makes no attempt to move from her private viewing space.  It is as if she is telling me that it is Epiphany and she has been welcomed to lay in adoring comfort at the feet of the baby Jesus.  Who am I to shoo her away?  I can hear her purrs as I type.

Two thousand years ago men who watched the stars for answers to earthly happenings came together for a journey of magnificent proportions.  For them it must have been quite an undertaking to plan this trip to a place known only by the brilliant, heavenly activity occurring above it.  There have been many romantic depictions of this “Star of Bethlehem” that even today bring me wonder at how the spiritual realm couldn’t help but impact the natural world when the God of all came from one to the other.  His conception was Spiritually mysterious, his birth was followed by light, and the angels had to rejoice in a way that filled the night skies surrounding this Holy event with song.  For those like the “3 Kings” who were intentionally watching and “seeing” something majestically happening it was cause to leave the comfort of their homes and nations to follow unfailingly towards the birth of a king in lands unknown.  God called in a way most likely unknown to them to be witnesses that would inspire history and they answered that call despite its uncertainties.

I am not shooing my cat away from this Nativity scene.  There is something within the air today that speaks to radical faith and following one’s spiritual nature to some new understanding of living the human life.  There is transformation in the air and the background music is that of European Christmas music with its hauntingly majestic Cathedral tones.  I am part of something in this scene and I have to discover its fullness and with that I am not to do much more than to witness to its activity surrounding me.

The Feast of the Epiphany is traditionally the last day of the Christmas Season.  It is a day to remember our blessings and give final gifts of love if that is what we choose to do.  It is also a day when others have baked special cakes with coins or baubles hidden within them for one hopeful person to discover and know that the new year will hold wondrous things for him or her.  For me it is the day of formally saying “thank you” to the beautiful fir tree that has adorned our living room for 5 weeks and now will be placed in the yard for the birds to find refuge in until Spring requires its recycling as wooden ornaments or warmth for the plants during a surprise frost.  The Santa collection will be carefully wrapped and preserved for the excitement of Christmas’ return and the empty stockings will once again be placed among the bulbs for safe keeping.  The Nativity figures will also be lovingly wrapped and placed carefully among the rest as I wonder about Mary and Joseph’s sad and sudden trek to Egypt as the political world around them responded to the fear of a baby born to be our King.  Many didn’t hear the angel singing, nor saw the shepherds’ amazement at being presented with such news, nor cared whether or not these men from distant lands found this mysterious event worthy of their journey, and only saw a Jewish mother and father struggling to give birth to their new son among the animals.  The heavens rejoiced and only few heard.  The night skies lit up but only a few saw.  The lullaby of a grateful mother and father cradled the stillness of the night but few cared to be moved by the Holiness.

Today, as we follow whatever traditions grace our homes, may we wonder as we enter this new year as to how Jesus’ life was meant to impact our lives.  The spiritual world beckons us to see and hear more within our existence.  God calls each of us to the transformation of the Wise Men and cradles us with the comfort of saying “Do not be afraid.  I am with you.”  Emmanuel with us, forever with us.

Call to Vocational Changes

Recently I watched a program on Public Television that reported on the life and work of an area art teacher whose paintings have become fashionable enough to elevate him to area artistic fame.  In the midst of his interview he made a comment about how enthusiastic his students are to begin learning the artistic process only to simmer out and grow cold and disillusioned when they realize how much time they will have to spend alone perfecting their craft.  There is an illusion of a some sort of social and celebratory environment for artists that does not tell the true story of the need for diligence, determination, and discipline.

Today, I am in the midst of a vocational transformation from social service worker to writer.  On one level this is not too much of a stretch for I have always written through the years of social service positions.  On another level, the level of what fills my days and stirs my creative passions, it is a complete change…a change from being surrounded by people and need to writing about people and need within the more silent world of thought.  My prayer is that within this new framework that God will give me continued opportunities of being merciful to others.  My prior profession has educated me immensely about social systems and how to maneuver through their sometimes unjust and ineffectual natures.  I was able to see the strength it gave someone to be able to let them know realistically in all its good and bad what to expect; this armored them and kept many from retreating and fading into the margins of our society.

But I am in the midst of a different spiritual season.  God has called and I answered.  As Mary asks Joseph in the movie, The Nativity Story, “Are you scared?” and he replies with a humble chuckle “Yes, are you?” so am I.  It is scary to head down unknown roads without a living, breathing mentor; someone I could go to coffee with and talk about how the book(s) are coming along and get trusted feedback; someone whose knowledge of the profession would help me to miss obstacles.   So, I have been placing this more and more upon the altar of my prayers and thinking about the need for a religious community that shares in the gift of the written word.  My concern is that I would given their opinions too much weight and lose site of the direction that the Holy Spirit has ordained.  I was brought up to respect the words of the religious and ordained, not discard it.  So there would need to be growth in this.

Today I continue my “Query Letter” requirements and working on my personal lamentation that will be incorporated into the endings of the book’s chapters.  This is integration and I challenge all who read this to look at their lives and “wonder” about God’s Will and if there is anything that they have had a “nagging” sense of throughout their lifetimes and feel free to share for integration of our faith can only lead to a more peaceful acceptance of who we, as individuals, were authentically created to be.  God Bless…