THURSDAY MORNING DISCIPLINE

This morning I placed my writing upon the altar at Mass.  One of my daughters was singing in the choir for the first time while the elder one was an altar server.  My youngest daughter had asked me last evening to come to their Thursday morning Mass but I did not want to.  Today has been the coldest day of the year so far and I really, really wanted to stay home by the warmth of the fireplace and study.  God wanted me to go and in my thoughts reminded me that I had planned on going Thursday mornings after the busyness of the holidays ended so that I could be present at worship.  I made myself go through the motions of a shower and bundling up so that I didn’t acquire frostbite on my way.  It was seconds in the car as the heater was running that I began to feel at peace.  I was disciplining myself and God was pleased. 

As I sat through the beginning prayers of Mass and saw my two girls learning to praise God through song and service  I began to think of my own service to the Church that God has called me to.  He has asked me to take a risky leap of faith and write about Him and His desire for us human beings to be in an active, ongoing, full relationship with Him that will bring us peace and tranquility, a word that seems to be used these days only when someone is dying “well”.  I have always had faith in my life and I love the Catholic traditions I have been raised in.  This does not mean that I have not sinned for I have sinned on more than one occasion and when I do sin, I usually sin with a gusto that exceeds most any other thing that I do in my life.  But I have learned as I have grown older that faith is a journey that includes all choices of a real life.  I am just grateful that in this second half of my life that I have been graced with the desire to wake with God on my lips, in my mind, and in my heart and that I lay myself down at night to God on my lips, in my mind, and in my heart.  As you can see and as I learned this morning, the need for discipline remains.

Many people think that doing service for God consists of being willing to be on the Parish Council, serving rolls and coffee on Sunday morning, saying “hello” to strangers, etc.  I have found that the service options are narrow and usually come about from a request from others instead of a conversation with God.  I think this has played a part in the difficulty I have had in understanding that writing books or articles about God and about the integration of faith in everyday living can be a service to God and to the faith community.  Soon I will begin interviewing Seniors about their faith in the hope of gathering information for a second book on the “Catholic Legacy of Faith”.  My relationship with God and the Holy Spirit has led me to this.  Sometimes I get afraid when the money is scarce but today, at Mass, I was strengthened beyond my wildest yearnings.  I saw in my mind my papers of research strewn upon the altar.  I wanted God to have them, to bless them, and to help me find a way to bless my family with them.  I felt the “rightness” of doing this for God felt the authentic desire in my heart to do His Will. 

After Mass was over I ran into a woman that I have met before.  She is a senior in our faith community and in the course of our conversation I asked her if she would be willing to be interviewed by me.  She has said “yes”.  I am to contact her when my interview questions are complete.  She then said she knew of someone else who should be interviewed and I can see how the loaves and fishes just keep multiplying.  As we were speaking my daughters both came up to me with arms about me and telling me of their love for me.  Then the younger one danced her way into the forming line and headed off to be educated for the next 6 hours.  I was left amazed at how my disciplining of myself has left me so blessed this Thursday morning.